E-Jay, Ti Lik and myself, we are known to be the inseparable F4. Me being the Empress was always seen with my 2 trusted bodyguards by my side.
We used to do many things together like in this case took part in the protest together, and charged for illegal protest and assembly together.
With the latest development, and Ti Lik choosing to plead guilty due to his work commitment, I suddenly felt so alone without my trusted bodyguards watching over me or fighting alongside with me.
I remember chatting with Sylvester on Monday, who asked me how am I doing, I told him I don’t know if end of the day, what I am going through, to stick by my believe and my conviction is worth it, but I know I have to carry on, not for myself, but for my children. I am doing all this to pave the way for the younger generation, I hope by the time my kids are older, there is true democracy in Singapore.
Yet this afternoon after our lunch break, while Carl is doing his cross-examination, my handphone rings for several times, unable to pick up at that point of time and not knowing who called, I didn’t think much of it. When I reached home, I realized the school was trying to contact me because my son is sick and having a high fever. I was filled with remorse and guilt for not being there for him.
The price all of us – believers of democracy, have to pay to carry on with the trial. Of course, this is exactly what the PAPies knew and how they using it to kill us.. Some of us has the luxury of time on our side to continue the fight, while others like E-Jay, Ti Lik, Jeffrey George, Rajan and Suraya did not.
As a mother, a woman, I do have my limitation and emotional moments. I wouldn’t know if end of the day, what is going to come out of this trial, this fight, what I have lost along the way but I still chose to continue on.
To my remaining 12 comrades, thank you for giving me all the support I need to carry on this fight.
Thank you Siok Chin and John for always talking to me, lending me a listening ear.
Thank you Seelan for always checking if I am feeling ok. I feel your concern.
Thank you Sylvester for always sharing with me and assuring me you know what I am going through.
Thank you Shafiie for the butter bread that you sweetly order for me for breakfast on Monday.
Thank you Kai Xiong for always coming up to me and sharing some jokes to make me laugh.
Thank you Francis, for now you are the only one addressing me as Empress.
Thank you Gandhi, for the generous compliments to me each day at our trial which never fails to perk me up (ok I admit I am vain, and I loves compliments..haha)
Thank you Dr Chee, Carl, Jufri Snr for working through all those cross-examniation and speaking up not just for us, but the rest of the Singaporeans.
Thank you E-Jay, for the chat we share in this early morning. Your assurance and support gives me new strength and I know I have a friend in you.
Last but not least, thank you PAPies, for making all this possible. For you have taught me to be a strong woman, to standby my conviction and belief against all odds. You have educate my political knowledge along the way and develop true friendship from the TBT 18.