Oct 27

It was a thursday morning. I actuall went to Court excited and looking forward to have fun in the court.

The trial started with E-Jay pleading guilty to the illegal assembly charge and having the procession charge taken into consideration.  The matter was stood down to 11am and thereafter 1530 for E-Jay’s counsel to prepare his mitigation plea and DPP to prepare the statement of facts.

When I returned back to court after picking up my kids, I was told that E-Jay was handcuffed in public and escorted to pay his fines. Damn it! did they have to resort to that?  Was that necessary?  Mas Selamat himself, a terrorist was not even handcuffed when he went to the toilet and why then is E-Jay treated worse than Mas Selamat?

Anyway, when the court resumed sitting at 1530, it took almost 2 hours for them just to read out the charges to all 18 of us.

Upon the DPP’s application for joinder of trial, District Judge Chia Wee Kiat next asked all the accused whether they were agreeable to a joint trial, most of the accused objected to the joinder with Yap Keng Ho.  Judge Chia granted DPP application for joint trial eventually which make me wonder then why ask us in the first place if the decision was to allow it even though majority was against it?

The 1st day of trial came to an end with Jeffrey George expressing his intention to plead guilty to the charges as the judge refused to grant a disjoinder of his trial, refused to grant an adjournment and disallowed his application to be excused from attendance despite his offer to be bound by the proceedings in his absence.

The 2nd day of trial started with DPP finally providing some answers to the provision of the video recording which the Police intended to adduce as evidence.

We returned to court at 2pm to view the video together. We all had a good laugh as this is the first time after the protest that the TBT 18 sat down and re-lived the experience of the protest. As we viewed the video. We were laughing away at some of the scenes. e.g. when Seelan was dragged and the police videographer was focusing on Seelan’s shoes..Seelan lifted up his legs and commented that he is still wearing the same pair.

We also laughed at the silliness of ASP Willam Goh insisting that we move from the junction when the traffic light was clearly red.

I guess when this video is replayed again during cross examination, it will definitely draw laughter from us and from the public gallery.. :D

When court was resumed at 1430, the first witness was put to stand.

A little time into the cross examination by my co-accused, it became clear that this lady police officer, who was assigned to take pictures of the locations 4 months after the protest did not know the following;

1) what sort of camera she was using despite according to her, she was a police photographer 1 year after joining the force, which means she has 7 years 9 months experience as a cameraman.  As a police photographer, she did not know the brand/focus length of her camera and lens.  This to me is rather unbelievable.  A police photographer who does not know her tools is akin to a policeman not knowing his personal issue weapon.

2) She is not sure that the parliament house is a gazetted area. A Police Staff Sergent who is in the force for 8 years 9 months is not sure so then why the Police Commissioner who issue the Police Summons to me expected that I reasonably ought to have known that the area was gazetted when his own subordinates do not?

Jufri Mahmood questioned the witness if she knew what gazetted actually meant but DPP objected to that citing irrelevance to which John made a very good rebuttal as he pointed out that even she as a Police Staff Sergent is not aware of Parliament House being a gazetted area and why are the rest of us laymen expected to reasonably ought to have known, hence he believe the relevance to Jufri Mahmood questioning of her understanding of the word “gazetted”.

But before the Judge could gave a reply to John, Yap hijacked the cross-examination with his request of asking the witness to leave the courtroom for 1 minute as he need to address certain issues with the court without the witness presense. INTERESTINGLY, the judge allowed Yap’s request and witness was told to leave the court room and Yap addresssed the issue of authenticity of the pictures blah blah blah. I drifted off after two sentences from Yap as I decided that what he was saying was utter rubbish.

When the witness returned, Yap went on to blah blah and blah..John passed a note to my counsel Thiru, in it he wrote “DPP, aren’t you going to object to this?” Thiru was laughing and say no no..he is not going to pass that to DPP.  We too were wondering why did the DPP and Judge allowed his line of questioning which was totally irrelevent and Yap was just trying to show off his knowledge of the camera.

Ti Lik finally stood up and objected to Yap’s questioning commenting that he was surprise why the DPP had chosen not to object when it was obvious Yap questioning has no relevance to the case and he is not objectiing but yet chose to object to question from the accused which are relevant. Jufrie Mahmood commented that Yap seemed to be applying for a job in the police force and that brought the whole courtroom into laughter. I caught the DPP laughing too.

After composing himself, DPP explained that he was of the view that the questioining was relevant. The Judge himself agreed with the DPP.

Kai Xiong, who studied photography for 3 years and worked as a freelance lighting assistant, too stood up to dismiss Yap’s line of questioning.

The trial ended with Yap finally decided to abandon his line of questioning. Another day wasted.. ;(

Hopefully Tuesday will be exciting..as it will be ASP Willam Goh turn to take the stand to be cross-examined :-)

Oct 27

The trial begins – Part 1 – The Dilemma

I was at the meeting place early on Thursday and met SDP’s Assistant Treasurer Jeffrey George Since it has been some time since we last met, we were both elated to see each other. It turned out that Jeff had been away since his project started about a month back. Jeff then shared with me about his dilemma – that he needed to be back at work that evening and would not be available for the entire trial period.

Jeffrey George is an Offshore Drill Engineer, an esoteric line where not many people get to be acquainted with. Being skilled enough to start his own business as a private sub-contractor, he works on a project basis, his income is not fixed, and once he finishes one job, he would have to wait for another. He won’t know when his next project will be.

Due to a loss of travel documents recently which the SIR had been slow to replace, he was put out of work for almost a year, and had been living on his savings for the period.  Jeff is a family man with kids and wife to support and the year must have been really hard on him having to balance the need to look after his family, on the other hand, to fight for his convictions.

Like the rest of the TBT 18. We each all have our own difficulties.

For myself, throughout the entire trial period, my day will start dropping off my kids to school in the morning and rushing to court (barely in time for breakfast) and when the court adjourns for lunch, I will have to rush to pick up my kids from school, send them home before rushing back to court by 1430.  This is tough as usually my kids will not let me go, not to mention, I will be skipping lunch when I only have 1.5 hours to rush from the Subordinate Courts to West Coast and then to Bukit Merah before heading back to sub court.

I spoke to another of my co-accused during the 1st day of the boring trial.  I found out that he is a Despatch Rider who is the sole breadwinner in his family. He has a wife and 3 kids, the youngest being only 20 months old.  As he works on a contract basis with no basic pay, 2 weeks absence from work will make him almost $2k poorer. However he remains committed to stand trial for his beliefs.

Jufri and Suraya are in a similar position as well. Jufri is the sole breadwinner. They have 3 kids, the youngest was due to have operation for her tonsils removed.  As both Jufri and Suraya need to attend court, they have to make special arrangement for family members to help look after their 3 kids during their absence.

Shafie – the youngest among the TBT 18, is only 19 years old and a full time national serviceman. He trudges to court everyday from camp with a full pack on his back. He then makes his way back to camp when the Court rises for the day.

Shafie is a very gentle and soft spoken guy.  His mum accompanied him to court on the first day of trial, looking worried and concerned.  This was made worse by the AG-C’s representatives sent to identify Shaffie and Isrizal at the Court and serve them documents for Contempt of Court Committal hearing dates for their wearing kangaroo t-shirts.

Despite being unable to get a lawyer to represent him, he at such a tender age exhibits courage and fortitude in claiming trial together with the rest of us.

My good friend E-Jay who decided to throw in the towel during the 1st day of trial. I am sure he has his personal reasons for doing so.

The establishment is deliberately hurting our pockets to deter us from speaking up making it so easy to be tempted to throw in the towel. The only reason why the rest of us choose not to do so is due to our wish to stick to our convictions but also we face less problems as compared to Jeff and E-Jay who have no choice given their situation and circumstances.

Therefore, my compatriots Jeffrey George and Ng E-Jay, do not let all the unkind words of others affect you.  You have done your best to stand alongside with us in this battle.  I am truly proud of both of you.  TBT 18 will always be TBT 18, there will never be 1 less, let alone 2..

Oct 26

Before I post my experience in court..let me post a invitation to my readers..

Come this Tuesday, the 2nd witness will be put on stand, and that is ASP William Goh..

I would like to invite friends / readers to come join us as this is going to be a exciting witness to cross examine…

Details for our trial :

Court 5 – 9.30 am..

Hope to see you all there :-)

Enjoy the long weekend holiday.

Oct 14

From a friend;

Why should you continue voting for PAP? Here is why:

You voted for PAP, and you get to pay 7% GST instead of 5%.

You voted for PAP and your CPF money gets lock up for another 3 years
more than the original.

You voted for PAP, and your ministers demanded a 85% pay raises.

You voted for PAP, and your job went to a foreigner.

You voted for PAP, and your neighbors become foreigners.

You voted for PAP, and your elderly gets to enjoy the dignity of
employment by cleaning toilets, scavenging trash bins for aluminum
cans and selling tissue papers.

You voted for PAP, and your minsters tell you it is your fault that
Mas Selemat escaped.

You voted for PAP, and your government would rather lose millions at
sinking foreign banks rather than to save you from starvation.

You voted for PAP, and not only do your ministers literally spit on
you, but their scions tell you to “get out of their elite uncaring faces”.

You voted for PAP, and you are amply rewarded with ERPs at your doorstep.

You voted for PAP, and Lee Hsien Loong pledged to fix the oppositions.

You voted for PAP, and you got a Division 3 Prime Minister who needs
2 mentors to hold his hand.

You voted for PAP, and you got a large serving of Mee Siam Mai Hum,
at your own expense.

You voted for PAP, and your salary stayed stagnant for more than a
decade while the cost of living shoot sky high.

You voted for PAP, and you see the foreign kids get a place in school
while you child get zilch.

You voted for PAP, and you find that your public transport is no
longer “public”.

You voted for PAP, and your ministers want to house 1,500 foreign
workers right smacked in the middle of a peaceful neighborhood
without any concerns for you.

You voted for PAP, and the government readily reward your men with
more hookers than they can ever poked in Geylang.

You voted for PAP, and your government happily demands $5000 ang pao
from you when your maid runaway or get pregnant even though you had
nothing to do with it.

You voted for PAP, and your government glorify themselves with
Olympic sized banners of their ghastly faces to scare away ghosts
during the Chinese 7th month, courtesy of your S&C contribution to
your town councils which is suppose to go toward making life in your
neighborhood better.

You voted for PAP, and they protect the interests of the petrol
companies by making you pump 3/4 tank before you cross the causeway.

You voted for PAP, and they see nothing wrong with fining you for
driving a foreign registered car into Singapore.

You voted for PAP, and you discover that world-class super talented
multi-million dollar minister with all the state resources and
manpowers cannot even catch a limping man in this tiny island state
after more than half a year.

You voted for PAP, and you realise that your MP’s job is not to speak
out for you in parliament, but to tell you to tighten the belt, bite
the bullet, eat lesser and work longer.

You voted for PAP, and your kids have to stay with you till 40 years
old, as they cannot afford the cheapest “public” housing.

You voted for PAP, and your government tells you that their
interpretation of subsidies is the profit that they forgo making,
instead of actually paying part of the cost.

You voted for PAP, and everyone in Singapore suddenly got elevated to
Swiss standard of living, except you, and everyone around you.

You voted for PAP, and your neighbors can sell your home for you
(en-block), whether you like it or not.

You voted for PAP, and your organs automatically belongs to the
government (HOTA).

You voted for PAP, and you have to pay administration fee to use your
own money when you are sick (Medisave).

You voted for PAP, and your sons get to spend 2 or more years as free
labour in National Service and 13 more years as reservists, so that
the foreigners can have a safe country to work in.

You voted for PAP, and you found out that each of your son is worth
$30k, because that is what you are going to get if your son die while
serving the foreigners.

You voted for PAP, and you get a grand party every year on 9th August
celebrating more salaries for PAP.Not everyone is invited though, you
will still have to ballot for it.

You voted for PAP, and they tell you that there is a corner called
Hong Lim Park where you can go to talk all you want, other than that,
shut up unless you have something nice to say.

You voted for PAP, and you get a world-bottom “nation-building” press
serving you the latest propagandas, regardless of truth.

You voted for PAP, and in order to buy a car, you have to first pay
for a piece of paper that cost more than the car itself.

You voted for PAP, and you must vote for PAP! You cannot even think
about not voting for PAP. Because a certain inaccurate old man said
that he will call in the army if you don’t.

So vote for PAP. Read the list above again, and vote for PAP. Go
ahead, vote for PAP. More good years eh? Vote for PAP. For Swiss
standard of living. Vote for PAP. Mee Siam Mai Hum ok?

Oct 10

My gf says :
today sg announce technical recession
so maybe got job retrenchment again
so sad

Jas says :
u kno..
if this continues on..
n pap still increasing prices..
ppl ll turn against them..
My gf says :
not pap’s fault lar
is inflation

Jas says :
they allow PUB tarrif 2 go up 22%..
despite PUB billions of profits last yr..
n do nthg 2 stop them from the increase..
My gf says :
they have to make
everythg gg up now

Jas says :
what u mean pap got nthg 2 do with it?
My gf says :
as in the increase is already planned long ago

Jas says :
they raise d cost of living further w/o sparing a thought 4 ppl struggling to make ends meet..
My gf says :
and now economy bad is not what they predicted

Jas says :
how can u say PUB must make $$..
Jas says :
allowing them to make billions at the expenses of the people..
n during recession allowed them 2 raise 22% tarrif?
My gf says :
ya lar, maybe we can set up a blog to discuss and send it ti the govt

Jas says :
my dear gal..
be more aware of current affairs..
dun rely on ST for news..
read on the internet..
My gf says :
i read lar, no worries
i dont even read ST

Jas says (10:01 AM):
n soon u ll realise d rubbish our govert is giving us..
My gf says :
haha

Jas says :
im amazed u say that pub need to make..
n tat all tis price increase was planned long ago..
Jas says :
perhaps u shld see d points from d poorer families..
My gf says :
i do

Jas says:
u kno how tough it is for many of them 2 put fd on their tables now?
Jas says :
gas cost 10% of crude..but costings based on crude prices.
u tnk tat is fair?
My gf says :
i might not really know but i have been thr it once
many things are not fair in this world
fairness will be recieved in heaven

Jas says :
no..u need to fight 4 it..
need 2 speak up against unfairness..
My gf says :
how to?
complain to MPs
you think that helps

Jas says :
no..not just that..
1st of all..
My gf says :
then how to fight?

Jas says :
u need to be aware of what they r doing to us..
den aftr..come forward n speak up against them..
through blogs..
letters..
create awareness among ur frens..
Jas says:
i dun believe in church craps abt not wanting to be involve in politics..
My gf says :
u sound like you from ******’s party

Jas says :
politics is very much in our daily life..
we live n breathe politics everyday..
Jas says:
******* party dun ve balls..pls..
name a better party..
My gf says :
what is dont hv balls
no guts ah?

Jas says:

yes..what have ******* party done 4 us besides keepg quiet?

My gf says :
ok lar, no more politics

The above sounds all too familiar when you speak to some of your friends?

This is the sad state we are in now..

It is no wonder there are many Singaporeans like my girlfriend around that the PAP is still in power..

YOUR ignorance is THEIR strength..it is the ignorance of these people who believes that;

1) we must paid our ministers well in order to have a corruption free government.

2) “Without a competent Government, our mothers and daughters will be maids in other countries.” Minister Mentor

3) We raised GST to help the poor..(from 3% – 5% – 7%)

4) Public transport hikes for better transport service..

5) Higher tariffs have been due to the increase in oil prices (gas cost 10% of crude..but costings based on crude prices.)

6) Foreigners are here to help the locals keep our jobs!

7) Compulsory Annuity Scheme -> National Longevity Insurance Scheme -> National Life-long Income Scheme – is it still compulsory??

8 ) The government does not make money from ERP!!!!!!!

When can we see the awakening of these ignorant fellow citizens?

When we no longer can put food on the table?

When our daughters really ended up as maids in other country?

When our people lost their jobs to foreigner?

When even public transport becomes a luxury?

When all our CPF savings is lost in GIC investments?

When ERP gantries are up at every heartlands?

(p.s. apologies to my girlfriend for posting my private msn with her, therefore, names has been changed to protect her identity..I see the need to highlight the plight of her ignorance which I believe are a reflection of many fellow citizens..Thanks to Jeff for giving me such a appropriate title)

Oct 10

Today I woke up with a heavy heart…

It was a final farewell to Mr JBJ..

Arrived at St Andrew Cathedral at about 1.40pm with Siok Chin, John, E-jay and some others friends..

Uncle Yap was already there and giving out Mr JBJ portraits, while Rizal and Nora  pass us handmade pins of Mr JBJ which they made, for us to pin on our shirts…

We did some flyers too, with tribute to Mr JBJ from Dr Chee and Gandi and a letter from Amnesty International, spreading the words around about Mr JBJ.

As I was distributing the flyers, an elderly lady approached me, this is what transpired ;

Elderly Lady : 请问你,这位先生是谁?

Me : 他是一位出色反对党的政治家。

Elderly Lady : 他做了什么?

Me :他贡献了他的一生为我们人民反对政府不公平的政策, 以及在国会上为人民发表我们的心声。。

Elderly Lady : 他的名字是。。。。。

Me : 请问你是新加坡人吗?

Elderly Lady : 我是啊!

Me :对不起,你是新加坡人但你不懂得这位先生是谁吗?

Elderly Lady : 我没听说过也没看过这位先生…

Me :那为何不如你跟我们一起追悼这位为我们贡献了这么多的惹耶纳南先生..

The elderly asked a young gal who was with her if she would like to go in with her to pay respect to Mr JBJ, but the younger gal refused to and ask the elderly lady to leave the place.  She wanted to return the flyer back to me, but I told her to keep it and read about him, hopefully she will get to know Mr JBJ, even abit..

I later proceeded on to the funeral service..sigh..I cannot believe this old lady..my guess is she could be around the same age as Mr JBJ..but yet..she doesn’t seem to know him at all!

The establishment has truly succeeded in making it’s citizens apathetic towards politics..

Oct 3

I grew up in the Bukit Merah area.

As the ward of Anson is close by, since young, I heard more about Mr JBJ than my own MP – Dr Ahmad Mattar.

I remember back then in 1981, when JBJ won the Anson ward, the loud cheers can even be heard from my side, I was barely 10 years old back then, but I can tell, this man must be doing something right to win so many cheers from the people.

As I grew up, I beginning to get to know more and more about Mr JBJ through a close friend of mine who stayed in Blk 104 Jalan Bukit Merah, which at that time was under Anson area. She used to tell me stories about JBJ. Her parents even mentioned that their support for JBJ are very strong and don’t the PAP think they can send anyone to replace him.

JBJ was removed from his parliamentary seat back in 1986 by a conviction in Court which was later overturned. He was also sued for defamation.

From that time on, I often see him at Bukit Merah Bus Interchange selling the hammer. Even though I was a poor student back then, I would struggle with the limited money I have to purchase a copy of the hammers just to ‘show him my support’.

In May last year, I had the honour of meeting Mr JBJ in person, though not somewhere lavish, a old coffeshop to be precise, it was like a dream come true to be able to sit down and have a coffee with someone I admired from young. The coffeeshop owner, refused to accept payment for the drinks when he knew that one of the drinks in the entire tray was meant for Mr JBJ. That was the respect Mr JBJ has earned for himself through his years of fighting against the establishment.

I shook Mr JBJ hands and told him of my growing up years seeing him selling his newspaper in Bukit Merah Bus Interchange and how proud and honoured I felt being able to meet him in person. The meeting was a informal meet up about the formation of Reform Party.

Mr JBJ spoke at length with us, his conviction and why there was a need to come forward to oppose the current government on the basic fundamentals of democracy and human rights. How he felt his fellow Singaporeans are being deprived of the freedom to speak up, the freedom to stand against injustices and the need for the government to return the power back to the people.

JBJ would listen intently to what we had to say. One thing I noticed about him was the fire in his eyes when he spoke of his convictions, it was full of determination, but when it was my turn to speak, his gaze inevitably becomes “gentler”..That “gentle” side of him is a privilege that not many get to see.

A week or two later, I was overwhelmed when I received a call from Mr JBJ that he wanted to meet me personally for a chat to continue our discussion that day. I was elated. Who would turn down a chat with a great man like Mr JBJ.

I remember going up to his office to meet him and Teck Siong, we went down for a drink at a nearby coffeeshop. Throughout our chat, many strangers walk up to him, shook his hands to thank him for fighting for them. Some are youngsters just like me, who had great respect for him as they held on to his hands for quite awhile. I continued to meet up with him a few more times after that and though I told him I wasn’t ready to join any political party yet, I am willing to help him as and when he needed my help.

I attended the Reform Party’s inauguration dinner in July this year. People from all walks of life came to support him and hear him speak at the dinner. He was a happy man that night, the dinner was such a success and he made a great speech that night.

The last time I saw him was at SDP’s Hawaiian Night dinner. I was at the reception when he greeted me with a warm handshake. He addressed me by my name and asked how I had been. Despite being 82, Mr JBJ was still alert and remembered me. For me to have Mr JBJ calling me by my name was itself an honour.

I was invited to a dinner with Mr JBJ the following Wednesday. I turn down that invitation as I was feeling rather lethargic that night. It was such a waste that I missed my final chance to come up close and personal with Mr JBJ. The dinner as I understand from friends who attended was nice. They shared many ideals and dreams of opposition unity, insights on democracy and human rights.

When I received new of Mr JBJ’s demise early Tuesday morning, I couldn’t quite believe it. Yet I know, the source that informed me, couldn’t possibly be someone trying to pull a fast one.

Soon, news of his demise was announced on TV and Radio. My heart sank. Singapore has lost one of her greatest opposition fighters. I was suppose to meet Siok Chin for breakfast, but we decided to go to TTSH instead to see if we could see him for one last time and help the family in any ways.

We went from TTSH – SGH and finally Singapore Casket. The press were already there waiting when we reached. We met Teck Siong and Edmund there..Mr JBJ’s two sons wanted one last final moments with Mr JBJ and we decided to take our leave.

I attended Mr JBJ’s funeral that very night with Siok Chin, Gandhi and Uncle Bentley. As I stood by Mr JBJ’s saying a little prayer for him, I fought back my tears. I shouldn’t be crying for the loss, but I should have been happy for he could finally rest. I understand that God has been kind to him, even till he breath his last, he did not suffer any pain.

The next day was full of reports from our mainstream Media about the passing on of Mr JBJ. It is nauseating to read article after article of insincere self glorification by members of the establishment, who in the name of sending “letters expressing condolences” had put down nothing nice in the letters.

Perhaps to an opponent who has fought hard against them. They are afterall, still sore despite winning.

Mr JBJ was described as “irrelevant”, “not destined to see through what you have been fighting for”, “trying to demolish PAP and their system of Government”, and one even described JBJ’s ideals as being “ahead of times” – to all these comments, I have only this to say, I am sure what Mr JBJ has been fighting for will not be in vain for there are people like me, who believe in what he has been fighting for, and are prepare to carry on the fight.

Given Mr JBJ’s background, he could have led a luxurious life if he choose not to care or chose to be co-opted into the establishment, yet he choose the harder route to bring about more freedom for us. Even at the expense of being jailed and bankrupted, Mr JBJ still fights on.

Mr JBJ, you are a remarkable man, even though the Lord has taken you, the respect I have for you can never be taken away.

Rest In Peace Mr JBJ, let us carry on the fight towards a democratic society in Singapore and bless us from where you are now.

Goodbye Mr Joshua Benjamin Jeyaretnam.

Oct 3
Goodbye, dear friend PDF Print E-mail
Friday, 03 October 2008
Chee Soon Juan

Dear Mr Jeyaretnam,

I visited you one last time on Tuesday. I’ve never seen you so peaceful and contented.

This is such a change from all the years that we’ve been working together. I remember how bitter we felt sitting in your rented apartment at Orange Grove Road after the 1997 elections. The place has since been turned into swank, upscale serviced-apartments. We were drafting a letter to the United Nations to ask for the monitoring of future elections here.

It was a tedious job recounting everything that had happened: the hounding of Tang Liang Hong, the threats made against voters, and the gatecrashing of polling stations by ministers. The task was made lighter only with the delightful combination of the savoury Indian vadai and Earl Grey you served.

I remember also asking you about the copy of Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela sitting on your coffee table. You said that once in a long while, there comes a man who achieves greatness without having to cause the suffering of others.

On another occasion, my wife and I visited you at another rented house. From the outside, we could see a few of your shirts hanging by the window ledge on the upper floor. Mei said that she felt sorry that you had to do your own laundry at your age without anyone sharing those chores with you.

This reminds me of the time when we were driving along Serangoon Road and you wanted to stop by to pick up a bunch of flowers. I had asked you what the occasion was. You said it was your wedding anniversary and that your late wife, Margaret, would have liked the bouquet.

Then there was the time when we visited New York City. I was surprised when you mentioned that that was the first time you had set foot in the US. We had checked into this small hotel and struggled with our luggage along the narrow and dingy corridor. And as I fumbled for the key to open the door, I heard you mutter to yourself: “Oh Ben, what have you gotten yourself into?”

My heart sank when I heard you say that. I was feeling a little depressed myself and I was hoping to get some cheer from you. Seeing you so despondent made my own morale wobble.

But I knew that you were feeling depressed and anxious because of yet another lawsuit. As we put our weary heads on the emaciated pillows, you said that they didn’t just want to win politically but were determined to also crush us personally.

We made a pact that night that while we may not yet be able to beat them politically, we would not allow them to defeat us on the personal front. They may take away all our possessions, but they will never take away our will to speak up. And then you said that we needed to rest as “tomorrow’s another day that we have to fight.”

The next morning I came out from the shower and saw you reading the Bible. We talked a little about the Book of Ecclesiastes. Then you knelt down by the bed to say a prayer and I joined you. We prayed for strength and sustenance.

Rejuvenated, we went down to what New Yorkers call a “deli” for breakfast. I remember you asking me what a bagel was and I said that it was the American version of the vadai. You chortled and we mouthed down a couple of Ham and Cheeses. Actually, I did. You found the bagels a little too hard.

During breakfast we talked about setting up an NGO to advocate transparency and democracy in Singapore. When we came back, we had a bit of a laugh seeing how the gentleman at the Registry of Companies squirmed as he tried to handle our application for the “Open Singapore Foundation”.

After rejecting the term “Foundation”, “Institute” and a couple of others, the ROC finally allowed the use of “Centre”. Thus was born the first human rights NGO in Singapore.

We left New York and you headed south to Florida to visit your son. When you returned, you bought my daughter a little pink teddy bear. It squeaks when you press its tummy. When she was a little older, we told her who bought it for her. She named it “JB Bear” because she couldn’t quite pronounce your name.

My wife said that it was funny to think of this cute little pink bear and picture you at the same time, a big elderly man with bushy hair and your trademark “mutton chops”. You always made her jump a little whenever your voice boomed through the phone: “It’s that you, Mei?”

Several months later, your worst nightmare came true. You were found guilty of defamation again and you now had to vacate your seat in Parliament for the second time. I remember talking to you on the phone after your appeal was rejected. You sounded so crestfallen.

I had asked you if you wanted to talk, but you said that you just wanted to be “alone for a while.” The next day we met for lunch near your office at North Bridge Road. We got into a heated argument. I had asked you not to continue paying the money and playing into the hands of Lee and his people.

I knew you were angry at me for saying so, but I also knew that you wanted me to be honest with you. Through the years, we have had our clashes and disagreements. But we always knew that we were locked in spirit and that we would always remain true to each other and to what we believed in. No matter how serious our disagreements, we always stood on the same side.

As you lay down to rest, democracy is not yet at hand. But don’t you ever believe those who say that your fight on earth was irrelevant and personal. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have inspired an entire generation of Singaporeans and we will keep the fight going.

We will keep on reaching for that star in the black sky, that shimmering distant star of liberty. If we are closer to touching it, it is because we stand on your shoulders.

Your legacy and walk on earth will not only remain but it will grow. You have left a void that cannot be filled.

I think of that night in New York when we pledged not to let them defeat our persons. You’ve kept your end of the pact. They may still have the power but, boy, you sure showed them what a fighter for truth is. You leave us with honour and dignity, no one could buy you over and no one did. And even though you did not possess millions in your bank account, the treasure which you have stored is with you today and forever.

Goodbye, Ben, I will miss you.

But even as I mourn your death, I celebrate your life because it has touched mine. You have fought the good fight and now you have been called home to rest. They cannot hurt you anymore. Until we meet again, dear friend, I will always remain

Yours in Justice and Freedom,

Soon Juan